June 12, 2026
Did you know that when you, “speak like this” you sound way clearer?
That’s called a resistance drill, and it’s just one of 15 micro habits that will make you a dramatically better communicator.
Now, here’s how it works:
Put a pen sideways in your mouth, then open any book and read it out loud for about 30 seconds.
“In the spring of 2017, I went to Rome for a week.”
The pen forces you to over-articulate. So, when you take it out, you speak much clearer.
Most people suffer from a condition I call premature elaboration.
Now, the second someone finishes speaking, they jump in with their opinion, their story, their explanation. And the other person is just sitting there thinking, “What the… this guy doesn’t even listen to me.”
Great communicators do something different. They pause two to three seconds after the other person stops speaking. And I know two to three seconds feels like an eternity.
It will feel awkward at first, but here’s what it signals:
Most people freeze when someone puts them on the spot or they have to give this mini speech on the spot. Well, this habit trains exactly that moment.
So here’s how it works:
Grab any book, any article, any page, close your eyes, and then point to any random word. Whatever your finger lands on, that’s your topic.
Now, you give a two-minute opinionated speech on it, and not a summary or description, but really a strong opinion.
In this moment, my word is apple. And then you start, right? You say, “Today, I want to make the case that our obsession with apples is slowly destroying the planet.” And then you go on.
Now, this habit is so powerful because you’ll start to trust your brain to speak on any topic on the spot.
Most compliments are shotguns. They’re like, “Great job. Well done. Nice work.” Fired in the general direction of someone, but not hitting anything in particular.
The sniper compliment is different. It’s specific, precise, aimed at something specific you actually noticed.
“The way you reframed that question in that meeting was really sharp.”
“I noticed you made everyone feel included in that conversation. That was super impressive.”
Or, “Your opening on this presentation completely changed how I’m thinking about this.”
Now, generic compliments are forgotten before the person leaves the room. Specific ones are remembered for weeks.
Now, most people think that great eye contact means looking at people all the time. It doesn’t. It’s just intense.
Here’s the truth: it’s completely natural to look away while you’re thinking, when you’re searching for the right word, when you’re processing what exactly to say next.
Your brain actually works better when your eyes are not locked in somewhere.
But here’s the key: you can look away, but come back at the end of every sentence. So land the eyes right as you finish your thoughts.
That’s what makes you trustworthy.
Now, most people speak in one gear. Same pitch, same pace, same volume from the first until the last word.
And even if they’re saying something genuinely interesting, their voice puts people to sleep. Not because their content is boring, but because their voice gives their listeners no reason to keep listening.
The best communicators have variety. They speed up to create excitement. They slow down to create tension. They go loud at one point, they go soft to pull you in.
And here’s how you can train this:
Grab any children’s book and read it out loud like you mean it. When a character speaks, become that character. When something exciting happens, well, speed up. When something sad happens, well, slow down or go quiet. Let the emotion of the words actually change how you sound.
In short, it’s a little bit ridiculous, but it will help you discover the full range of your voice.
By the way, if you want to practice these habits with a group of like-minded people, I run a small coaching community called Inner Circle.
That’s where we get together to practice storytelling, introductions, and really anything around communication. Spots are limited, so if you’re interested, apply here.
This one is personal. When I’m really concentrated, I look like this grumpy teenager, and people think that I don’t like them.
That’s not the case. That’s just how I look when I’m thinking, but they obviously don’t know that, and they just interpret that as if I don’t want to listen to them or I wouldn’t want to be with them.
So here’s the fix:
Soften your face, relax your jaw, relax your eyes and smile slightly more. Sure, no need for this full smile. Just enough warmth to signal, “Hey, I’m present, and I’m glad to be with you.”
So try to move from this resting face to this resting warm face. Doesn’t cost you anything, but to the other person, it makes such a difference.
Before you speak, most people do this: [deep breath in] and then they start speaking.
That raises their shoulders, tightens their chest, and makes you sound so much more nervous than you are.
Don’t do that. Empty the tank completely.
So you do this: [breathe out slowly] and then let your breath naturally come back on its own, and then you speak.
That natural relaxed breath is what carries that confident voice.
Most people don’t really listen. They just wait for their turn to talk. The moment someone finishes, they jump in with their take, their experience, their story.
Don’t do that. Instead, go deeper.
“Wow, fascinating. Tell me more.”
“Well, what made you decide that?”
Or, “Well, what happened next?”
One question, that’s all.
It signals that you’re actually listening. And here’s the crazy part. People will find you fascinating, not because of anything that you said, but because of how you made them feel.
Men are especially guilty of this one. Someone tells you about a problem and immediately you want to help them solve it. But they didn’t even ask for that. They just wanted to be heard.
No solution, no advice, no fixing, just someone to sit with them and give them their full attention.
But sure, sometimes maybe they do want a coach or cheerleader or someone brave enough to tell them the truth. The problem is most people never ask. They just pick the role and hope for the best.
So before you jump in, ask yourself one question:
“What role does this person actually need me to play right now?”
And if you’re not sure, well, ask them and say something like, “How can I help you best right now? Do you want me to just listen? Do you want me to cheer you on? Or do you want me to give you some honest feedback?”
Three words asked 100 times a day: “How are you?”
And almost everyone wastes it.
They’re like, “Good. Not bad. Oh, finally the sun is out.”
What a missed opportunity because that question is actually an invitation. A tiny open door and the most magnetic people never waste it.
They share something real, something that gives the other person a thread to pull on. Sure, not a therapy session, just one genuine sentence.
For example:
“How are you?”
“I’m good. I just read this super fascinating article on sports psychology and I learned this one super cool technique that I definitely have to try out. Anyway, what about you? What was the last interesting thing that you read?”
Most people forget someone’s name within 10 seconds of hearing it. And not because they have bad memory, but because they’re so busy thinking about what they can say next.
So here’s the fix:
When you meet someone for the first time, use their name three times in the first few minutes of that conversation. Not in a weird or way, just naturally weave it in.
“Well, great to meet you, John.”
Or, “So, John, you mentioned that you just moved here, is that right?”
Or, “Wow, that’s a really interesting point, John.”
Three times spread out over those first few minutes, that’s usually enough to lock it in into your memory.
Every time I ask people in my workshops, what stops them from telling stories, I get the same response.
“I just don’t have enough stories.”
And every time I tell them, look, the problem is not that you don’t have stories. The problem is that you don’t know how to spot them.
You’ve dozens of moments every single day that could be turned into incredible story. That conversation that surprised you, that small frustration that taught you something, or that stranger that said this one thing to you that stuck with you for a couple of days.
Those are the perfect moments that you could use for a story.
So, here’s how you can become mindful of them:
Every day, ask yourself, “Hmm, if I had to tell a story from today, what’s that one moment that stood out? That one moment that touched my heart.”
And sure, it doesn’t have to be this super dramatic or impressive thing, just something that made you feel something.
And then, write down that moment. That’s it. It’s so simple, but once you do that for a few weeks, you’ll have this pool of stories that you can pick from.
Here’s why most people are terrible communicators: They’re not really there.
Sure, they’re physically in this room, but mentally, they’re still in that last conversation, already thinking about the next task, replaying something that happened in the previous meeting.
But the person across from you feels that, even if they can’t name it.
The most powerful thing you can do before any conversation or meeting isn’t to prepare more, it’s to arrive fully.
Now, here’s what I do:
Just before I walk in, I take 30 seconds. And when I do this, I feel my feet on the ground. And as I do this, I imagine roots going down through my feet into the ground. And from there I just take a few deep breaths.
I know it sounds a little woo-woo, but it helps you so much to become much more present. It stops that mental noise and brings you into the present moment.
Most people walk into conversations on autopilot. No clear sense of who they want to be and what they want to get out of this meeting.
They react, they do something, but nothing really meaningful.
Before any conversation, before any meeting, any presentation, take 10 seconds and set one intention.
Maybe it’s to be fully present with that person. Maybe it’s to genuinely help them or maybe it’s to get to that final decision. That way you stop reacting and you start creating.
That’s your inner compass.
Those are the 15 micro habits. You see, none of them is super complicated, but done consistently, they will completely change how you communicate.
Now, here’s what I want you to do right now. Pick one, just one that resonated the most and commit to it for 7 days because communication isn’t something you learn just in this article.
It’s something you build one small habit at a time.
If you feel like you’re ready to go beyond YouTube and actually transform how you communicate, join us in the Inner Circle. Spots are limited, so if you’re interested, apply here.
See you there.
P.S. Want to become a stronger communicator?
Here are two ways I can support you:
👉 Want to tell more engaging stories? Join our next Storytelling Workshop.
👉 Want to speak with confidence and clarity? Check out our Communication Skills Training.
Both are fun, practical, and designed to help you grow fast.
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
Discover how your storytelling skills score and uncover useful insights to help you become a charismatic storyteller:
