April 13, 2026
I interviewed 34 of the most successful speakers to find out how they learned to speak with so much confidence.
And I expected them to tell me things like, “Ah, just came naturally to me.”
But none of them said that. Instead, they all described the same strange cycle.
I call it the 5-P confidence loop.
Once you master this loop, you’ll speak with so much confidence that people will whisper, “Who is this person?”
Let’s start with the first P, proof.
Imagine a gladiator entering a stadium. Boom, 50,000 people just screaming at the top of their lungs.
Now, would he walk in naked?
Of course not, right? He walks in wearing steel, covered in armor.
This is exactly how most speakers walk onto stage, completely unprotected. They have nothing between them and the crowd’s judgment. To speak with confidence, you need to suit up.
Now, your armor isn’t metal, it’s proof. Proof that you faced discomfort before and that you survived.
That time you spoke in a meeting while your legs were shaking, well, that’s maybe your boots.
That time you stumbled over your words but still got that job offer, that’s maybe your breastplate.
That time you forgot a slide, laughed, and kept going, well, that’s maybe your helmet.
You don’t need to build that armor on the day of the battle. If you wait until that big speech to feel confident, you’re already late.
You build it every day.
Confidence isn’t a personality trait, it’s a memory bank of brave moments. And one way you can do that is by asking yourself every day,
“What was one uncomfortable moment I overcame today?”
Now, maybe you gave some tough feedback, maybe you posted a video that felt a little bit cringe, or maybe you start talking to a stranger in a coffee place. Then write down that moment and feel the pride for having done it.
If you do this daily, you start to rewire your brain. Your nervous system learns that discomfort does not mean danger.
So, when you then walk onto a real stage, you’re not trying to be brave. You’re simply standing behind this wall of proof.
But let’s now go to the second P, practice.
Now, that one was the worst presentation of my life. First year of university, I had to give a 10-minute talk in front of my entire class. And I wanted it to be perfect.
So, I did what most people do.
I memorized everything, word for word, every transition, every hand gesture, every sentence.
I practiced that speech 47 times in my tiny dorm room, standing in front of the mirror talking to my laundry. And after the 47th time, I remember thinking,
“All right, Philipp, I think you’ve got this.”
Then the day came. I walk in front of the room, 40 students staring at me.
I took a deep breath and started speaking. The first minute, exactly like I rehearsed. Second minute, also great. I was actually doing it.
But then something tiny happened.
This guy in the front raised his hand and asked me a question. Not even a hard question, but in that moment, it was like someone had hit delete on my brain. The whole script that I prepared so much, gone.
And I’m just standing there in silence. I could literally hear the clock ticking on the wall.
I never recovered. I actually had to stop the presentation. Like, just stop it in front of everyone.
I just walked back to my seat and sat down thinking,
“How did that happen? I prepared so well. What the f**k is wrong with me?”
Now, here’s what I got wrong.
I hadn’t practiced speaking, I’d practiced remembering. And the moment something broke that pattern, I had nothing to fall back on.
Real confidence doesn’t come from knowing your script cold, it comes from being okay when things go off script, knowing that no matter what happens, you’ll be okay. You can handle that.
And so, how can you get into that mindset? Well, it’s by doing a simple practice – improvisation. Learning how to speak off the cuff on random topics.
Now, here’s how you can practice that. You can actually do this right now.
Pick any random object in the room. You can look around, and let’s say it’s a toaster.
Now, give a passionate 60-second speech about it. Maybe why the toaster is the greatest invention in human history, or why you absolutely hate toasters. It doesn’t matter.
The goal is not to be smart, the goal is to keep moving and to have fun with it.
And if you want to level up, do this with a partner. Have them throw random topics at you. Maybe paper clips, the color blue, why cats are better than dogs. And for a minute, give a speech on that.
Now, when you’re doing this every day, you’re training to trust yourself. Trust that your brain will show up for you even when you’re not prepared.
But here’s the thing, even with proof and practice, well, there’s still one thing that sabotages most speakers. Third P, prime.
Think about the last time you gave a presentation. What did you do in the, let’s say, 5 minutes before you walked on stage?
I asked that question to every leader I coach, and the answers are almost the same.
It was like,
“Oh, yeah, I was reviewing my notes.”
Or,
“I was checking my slides.”
Or,
“Yeah, I was trying to memorize my opening line.”
And I know that sounds productive, but it’s actually a trap.
When your brain is still in prep mode, you’re showing up with this lower energy, distracted, stiff, stuck in your head, thinking about yourself. And people can feel that immediately.
The fix is what I call priming.
Now, it’s getting your body and your mind in the right state before you even open your mouth. Actually, three out of the four speakers I interviewed had some version of this before a big talk.
Here’s what that could look like:
1. Shake it out. Now, stress doesn’t just live in our mind, it lives in our shoulders, in our jaw, in our chest.
So, for that, stand up and shake. Shake your arms, shake your legs, your whole body. It should almost look like a dog just getting out of the water.
The more physical you can be, the better it is. And if you just do this for like 1 or 2 minutes, you’ll see how much more comfortable, how much more at ease you feel.
2. Move with confidence.
For that, I’d encourage you to put on a song that makes you feel powerful. And then use your body to match it.
Throw your arms up, take the space, maybe shout something loud, right? You can shout something like, “I’m ready. I’ve done this.” Or, “I am unstoppable.”
And I know it might look super cringey right now on video, but the more physical you can be and the more you can really embody it, the more you will feel it.
3. Shift into gratitude. You cannot feel stressed and grateful at the same time.
So, name three things that you’re actually thankful for right now. And say, “I’m grateful that I’ve prepared so well. I’m grateful for being given this opportunity. I’m grateful for my family who supports me so much on this.”
And when you do this, don’t just say the words, let yourself actually feel it.
Now, that whole routine takes about 5 minutes, but it doesn’t have to be exactly that. Maybe yours is a breathing exercise, a walk, an ice bath.
The specific ritual doesn’t matter that much. What matters is that you do something, something that shifts you out of your head into your body before you speak.
But let’s now move to the next P, purpose.
Have you ever started a presentation and suddenly thought,
“Um, wait, what am I doing with my hands here? Is my face turning red?”
The moment this happens, you’ve stopped being a speaker and you’re becoming a self-critic. And here’s why this kills your confidence so much.
When you focus on yourself, all you see is your own nerves.
Now, it’s like a pilot staring at the cockpit floor instead of the runway. So, flip the camera. Stop looking at yourself and start looking at them.
Most people walk onto stage thinking,
“I hope they like me. I hope I don’t mess this up. I hope I look smart.”
That’s exhausting and it makes you so much worse.
The shift is this: go in as a giver.
Now, find one person in the room, look at them, and say to yourself,
“I’m here to give. I’m here to give. I’m here to give.”
Almost imagine handing that person a gift. Maybe it’s a new idea, it’s a solution to a problem they’ve had for a long while.
Now, when your brain is focused on giving, it doesn’t have the space to spiral. You cannot be generous and anxious at the same time.
So, instead of asking, “How do I look?” ask, “How can I help?”
That one shift from taker to giver is what separates average speakers from great ones.
But let’s now move to the last P, praise.
Imagine you’ve just finished your talk and you’re walking off stage. Your heart is still pounding, you’re still excited.
What is the very first thing you say to yourself?
Now, if you’re like most people, you start the shame spiral.
“Oh, I forgot that one point. I said um too many times. Oh, that guy in that first row, he looked so bored.”
Stop.
This is a terrible thing you can do. Why? By focusing on the negatives, you’re literally tearing off this armor of proof you worked so hard to build.
That way, you’re teaching your brain that speaking is punishment. And so, to build this long-term confidence, you need to praise.
Before you check your phone, before you talk to a friend, before you leave the room, find three things you did well. And I mean it, real things, not buts.
Don’t say,
“Yeah, I told a good story, but I think I messed up the ending.”
Don’t do this. Just say,
“I told an amazing story. I stayed calm when the mic turned off.”
Or,
“I had incredible eye contact.”
And I know most of us struggle to praise ourselves, but here’s what I found interviewing the 34 professional speakers.
Almost all of them reviewed what went well before they reviewed what didn’t go well.
And that’s not ego, that’s how you build long-term confidence.
So, that’s the confidence loop: Proof, Practice, Prime, Purpose, and Praise.
And here’s what makes this loop not just a checklist. The wins you find in praise, well, they become the proof you carry into your next talk. And with each one of them, your armor gets stronger every time.
Once you start running this loop, confidence stops being something that you hope for, it becomes something you build on purpose every single time.
Now, today we went deep into speaking with confidence, but if you want to become an even more engaging communicator, you may want to check out this next article where I share some of my favorite speaking techniques.
See you there.
P.S. Want to become a stronger communicator?
Here are two ways I can support you:
👉 Want to tell more engaging stories? Join our next Storytelling Workshop.
👉 Want to speak with confidence and clarity? Check out our Communication Skills Training.
Both are fun, practical, and designed to help you grow fast.
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