August 7, 2025
Hey there. If I could go back in time and give my 20-year-old self some advice on how to become a master communicator, what advice would I give? Let me share those with you in this blog.
Here is what it comes down to.
Have you ever been in that situation? Someone asks you a simple question and you start answering.
You answer, but then you go like, “Wait, there’s one more thing.” And then you’re like, “Oh no, there’s another thing.” Or, “Actually, there’s a third thing…” and then three tangents later, you’re completely lost.
I’ve been there. Here’s one of the best fixes I found: You can say that simple sentence — “The one thing I want you to know is X, Y, and Z.” Boom. That one line forces your brain to focus. It trims the fat. It zooms into what actually matters.
Let’s say someone asks, “What makes a great speaker?” Instead of listing seven random things, try:
“The one thing that makes a great speaker is presence.”
If you’re fully here with your audience, everything else falls into place.
It’s a simple shift but has a gigantic impact. Great communication isn’t about saying everything. It’s about saying the right thing.
A few weeks ago, I grabbed coffee with a former colleague. At first, it seemed great. He was asking me all kinds of questions — beautiful. But after a while, something felt off.
He’d go like, “So, what did you do at your parents’ place?” I’d answer. Then he’d go, “Um, so how’s work?”
“Still living in Amsterdam? Any trips planned soon?”
It felt like a rapid-fire interview — no follow-up, just: next question, next question, next question.
After 5 minutes, I thought, “F*** this. He doesn’t really care about me.” And here’s the wild part: He probably thought he was being a great listener.
Don’t do this. Instead, ask clarifying questions to go deeper.
So next time someone shares something, pause and then say:
“Wait, what was that like for you?”
“That sounds intense — tell me what happened.”
“How did you feel in that moment?”
That’s how you make people feel seen, not just scanned.
Most of us live pretty hectic lives — back-to-back meetings, rushing from one thing to the next. You leave one conversation and immediately jump into the next, but your brain is still stuck in the last one.
That’s a problem — you’re not fully present.
The most powerful skill in communication is presence. How fully are you in the room with the person in front of you?
Not just hearing them — but really being there with your whole body and mind.
How can you practice that?
Before any conversation, ground yourself.
Notice your feet on the ground.
Imagine roots coming through the floor.
Stick to that feeling for 30 seconds.
Then, when the conversation starts — boom, you’re fully present.
Two weeks ago, I gave a storytelling workshop. A guy stood up and said:
“I was responsible to optimize the distribution between the supply chain of two manufacturing facilities in the Pacific Northeast.”
I was just sitting there like — Dude, what are you talking about?
Five minutes earlier, he sounded normal. But now he sounded like a corporate robot.
This happens all the time — we talk like normal people until we speak in front of a group. Then suddenly we think we need to sound professional or intelligent.
But professional doesn’t mean complicated.
Trying to sound smart just makes you harder to understand. And if people don’t get you, your message dies.
The fix: Speak so that a fifth grader would understand you.
(Not because your audience is dumb — but because they’re busy, distracted, and tired.)
Use a tool like Hemingway App to check the grade level of your writing and speaking.
Grade 9? Too complex.
Grade 4 or 5? Perfect.
Some of my best content is at grade level 2.
Clarity sticks.
Professor Chip Heath asked students to give a 1-minute speech about non-violent crimes in the U.S. The rest of the class took notes and rated how persuasive the speeches were.
Then, a few minutes later, he asked them to write down everything they remembered.
Only 5% remembered a stat or fact.
But 63% remembered a story.
Let that sink in.
If you want your message to be remembered, wrap it into a story.
Don’t just say, “Our customers love us.” Tell a story about how you helped a specific customer with a specific problem.
Stories stick.
“Rehearse in front of the mirror” might be the worst communication advice out there.
Think about it — when do you ever give a talk while staring at yourself?
When you rehearse in front of the mirror, you stop focusing on your message and start obsessing over your face.
You’re like:
“Has my nose always looked like that?”
“What’s that pimple?”
“Is that just bad lighting?”
Now you’re not rehearsing — you’re judging.
The fix: Rehearse in your room, speaking out loud. No mirror needed.
I used to get jealous of people who always had the perfect answer.
I thought they were just smarter — but then I learned their secret.
The best communicators use frameworks. Little mental cheat codes that help them sound sharp under pressure.
Here’s the one I use most: PREP
Point
Reason
Example
Point again
Let’s say someone asks, “Should pineapple be on pizza?”
You say:
“Yes, pineapple belongs on pizza because it’s delicious and adds contrast. I went to a party two weeks ago, and the pineapple pizza was gone within seconds. So yeah, pineapple should be on pizza.”
Practice these: PREP, Problem–Solution, Past–Present–Future — anything. The key is to practice so you’re ready when it matters.
Imagine you’re about to go on stage. You fix your hair — but there’s no mirror, so you guess.
Ridiculous, right?
That’s what most people do with their communication. They have no idea how they come across.
They don’t hear their tone, don’t notice fidgeting, and don’t realize how long they ramble.
Fix: Record yourself on camera. Start small — 60 seconds.
Summarize your day
Explain an idea
Practice your talk intro
Watch it back. No judgment — just spot one thing to improve. Do it again a week later.
This is how you improve the fastest.
Imagine you’re in a meeting. The presenter says:
“There are five things I want you to focus on: clarity, presence, structure, time, and relevance.”
You zone out. Sounds like a shopping list.
But now imagine they say:
“There are three things: clarity, confidence, and connection.”
That hits.
Why? Because three is magic.
We’re wired to love threes.
Stop, drop, and roll
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
Eat, pray, love
One is incomplete. Two is forgettable. But three? Just right.
In my early days, every presentation felt like a performance. Memorized lines. Polished voice. Perfect posture.
But the more perfect I tried to be, the more robotic I sounded.
That changed when a mentor told me:
“Talk like you’re chatting with your best friend.”
With friends:
You don’t use jargon
You speak naturally
You’re not trying to impress
You pause and breathe when needed
Now, every video I record, I ask: “Would I say it like this to my best friend?”
If not, I redo it until it feels right.
Most people don’t sound insecure because of what they say — they sound insecure because of how they say it.
Too quiet. Too hesitant. Like they’re afraid to disturb anyone.
But here’s the truth: People who speak louder are seen as more confident.
Hack: Speak 20% louder than normal.
It feels awkward at first — like you’re yelling. But to others, it sounds like you believe in what you’re saying.
Try this:
Grab a book.
Read a paragraph at your normal volume.
Then again, but 20% louder.
Train your voice to be okay with volume.
Last year, I went on a date with a super cute girl in Amsterdam. Within an hour, I left.
Why? She never looked at me. Eyes down, glancing around the room — anywhere but my eyes. It felt like I wasn’t even there.
It reminded me: Most people have terrible eye contact — in conversations and especially in presentations.
They scan the room. Talk to the ceiling. Look down.
Fix: Practice deliberate eye contact.
Hold a gaze with one person for 5 seconds
Then switch to the next
Practice at home:
Talk to your furniture — the mug is one person, the lamp another, the book a third. Hold your glance for a few seconds before moving on.
It feels awkward — but it works.
For my second book, I interviewed 34 professional speakers. I asked them:
“How do you prepare for your presentation?”
Three out of four said the same thing:
“I focus on my audience.”
Sounds simple — but it’s radical.
Most people show up as takers. They want applause. They want to be liked. They want something.
But the best communicators show up with a giver’s mindset.
Ask yourself:
How can I serve?
How can I help them?
Say it in your head before any conversation:
“I’m here to serve.”
Visualize someone benefiting from your help.
Most people wait for big opportunities to practice communication — a Toastmasters meeting, a quarterly review…
But why wait?
Every conversation, every interaction is a chance to become a more captivating speaker.
Make your life the arena.
Use everyday moments — with strangers, friends, coworkers — to evolve as a communicator.
If you’re thinking, “Where do I even start?”
Start with storytelling.
So if you want to learn more on how to tell powerful and unforgettable stories, check out this article where I share three simple frameworks to better articulate your thoughts.
Enjoy.
P.S. Want to become a stronger communicator?
Here are two ways I can support you:
👉 Want to tell more engaging stories? Join our next Storytelling Workshop.
👉 Want to speak with confidence and clarity? Check out our Communication Skills Training.
Both are fun, practical, and designed to help you grow fast.
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
Discover how your storytelling skills score and uncover useful insights to help you become a charismatic storyteller:
