May 11, 2026
Obama is one of the best communicators in the world, but he wasn’t born that way.
Early on, his communication was actually pretty average and his small talk often super awkward. But over time, he developed a few very specific habits.
In this article, I’ll show you the five communication habits you can steal to speak like Obama.
First, let me show you a quick line where Obama is interviewed by the comedian Marc Maron.
Now, check out if you can spot what Obama does here.
“I can’t imagine anything tougher or more terrifying than doing stand-up comedy.”
Did you spot it?
Before making a point, before asking a question, before talking about himself, he starts with a compliment.
He acknowledges the other person and that’s a powerful communication habit. Because compliments break the ice, they make the other person feel respected and they make them like you more.
And obviously, when people like you, well, communication becomes so much easier.
Now, here’s how you can start this habit yourself. The key is to make your compliment specific.
Don’t say, “Ah, great job.”
Instead, say, “I love the example you used earlier about the customer feedback. So vivid.”
Or instead of saying, “Mm, nice presentation.”
Say, “The way you explained the strategy in three steps, made it so easy to follow. I love this.”
Do you see? Specific compliments feel genuine.
But let’s now move to the next communication habit Obama uses all the time.
Check out this short conversation where Obama’s interviewed by Trevor Noah.
Trevor:
“I just want to say thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you for being an inspiration and most importantly, thank you for giving me an opportunity to see what I would look like after 8 years of the toughest job in the world.”
Obama:
“You know, I will say that I resent how young and good-looking you are cuz I used to think of myself in those terms and it’s been downhill for quite some time.”
Did you notice?
Instead of defending himself or trying to look impressive, he laughs at himself. And that’s a powerful communication habit because self-deprecating humor lowers the tension.
It makes you more relatable and makes you more likeable.
Research actually shows that leaders who occasionally make fun of themselves, they’re often seen as more confident, not less confident because it shows that you’re secure enough to laugh at yourself.
But here’s how you can use this habit yourself.
The key is to make fun of something small and harmless, not something that completely undermines your competence.
For example, if you stumble over your words during your presentation, say, “Mhm, that sounded much better in my head.”
Or if you’re presenting after someone that was an amazing speaker, say, “Well, I was hoping that the person before me would be terrible, but unfortunately that was not the case.”
Now, small jokes like that instantly lighten the room. They make people smile and when they smile, communication becomes so much easier.
All right, let’s now move to the next communication habit Obama uses all the time.
Let’s check out these next two lines and see if you can spot the next communication habit.
“Two things I guess I do for myself.”
“Two things happen.”
Now, did you notice?
He doesn’t just launch into this big explanation. He structures his answer up front saying, “Two things.”
That instantly makes us relax because we know that there’s a plan behind what he’s saying. So before you go into the content, tell them what to expect.
For example, “Well, there are two main reasons for this. First, …”
Or, “Well, it comes down to three simple steps. Step one, …”
Or, “Here’s one thing that changes everything.”
That one sentence, that’s something powerful.
It tells your listener, “Ooh, I can relax. I know where this is going.”
In this next interview, Obama is explaining why public debates have become so difficult. But, he does that in a way that is super memorable.
“One of the most pernicious things that has happened is we have a situation now where we’re not just arguing policy or values or opinions, but basic facts are being contested.
And that is a problem because then the marketplace of ideas of the democracy don’t work.
I’ve said this before, but I always repeat it. You and I can have an opinion about this little side table.
You know, you might not like the design. You might not like the color or how it’s finished. But, we can have that discussion.
If I say to you, ‘This is a lawn mower.’ You’ll think I’m crazy. And if I really believe it, I’ll think you’re crazy.
And we’re now in a situation in which we are having these just basic factual arguments.”
Instead of explaining this issue in abstract political language, he turns the idea into a picture. A table and a lawn mower.
Now, that is something everyone can instantly visualize. Great communicators don’t just explain ideas. They help their listeners see their ideas.
And you can use this technique anytime you need to explain something more complex.
Just take that complex idea and compare it to something the audience already knows. You’re basically saying that new thing is like that thing you already know.
So, for example, instead of saying, “Oh, this new software will take some time to understand.”
You could say, “Learning this software is like learning to drive. At first, sure, it feels very awkward, but after a few weeks, it becomes automatic.”
Or, instead of saying, “Our strategy is too complicated.”
You might say, “Our strategy right now feels like a Swiss Army knife. Sure, it does a lot of things, but none of them particularly well.”
When people see the picture, they understand the idea much faster.
But, let’s now move on to the next communication habit.
This might be the most powerful habit of all. If you want to become more memorable when you speak, this is the one you need to master.
“Yeah, we get mobbed, we have to leave the zoo.
I’m kind of depressed about the whole thing, and Malia, who’s sitting in the backseat with Sasha, she says, ‘Dad, you need an alias.’
And Sasha’s like, ‘What’s an alias?’
And I’m like, ‘Well, it’s like a fake name you use, so you disguise your identity.’
‘So, it should be like Johnny McJohn John.’
I said, ‘Do you think that should be my name, John?’
‘Yeah.’ She said, ‘But, the problem is you also have to disguise your voice, cuz it’s too distinctive. You talk really slow. You need to speed up how you talk and use a higher voice.’
So, she had a whole plan, Sasha agreed to the plan.
We get home, they explain the plan to Michelle.
Michelle says, ‘Hun, you know, the only way that Daddy’s going to disguise himself is if he has surgery to pin back his ears.’ Which I found somewhat offensive.”
This is a communication superpower, and Obama knows it.
In almost every interview, he shares personal stories. Now, why? Because stories change how people listen.
The moment you tell a story, your listener’s brain releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is often called the trust hormone or love hormone. It makes people feel more connected to you and trust you more.
So, try to tell a story in your next conversation. Share this small personal moment. And don’t worry, you don’t need to have this massive life-changing story. Often, a tiny moment is enough.
For example, instead of saying, “My daughter thinks that I work too much.”
You could tell this micro story where you say, “Last week, my daughter looked at my phone and she asked me, ‘Daddy, do you work for your phone or does your phone work for you?'”
Or instead of saying, “Our customer support is overloaded.”
You might tell this micro story and say, “Yesterday, one of our support agents told me, ‘I answered 84 emails before lunch and my inbox still looked the same.'”
Moments like that make your message more emotional and more vivid.
People can see it, they can feel it, and they’ll remember it for the rest of their lives.
I know, storytelling can feel overwhelming when you’re starting off.
If that’s you, you may want to check out this next article where I share some of my favorite storytelling techniques.
See you there.
P.S. Want to become a stronger communicator?
Here are two ways I can support you:
👉 Want to tell more engaging stories? Join our next Storytelling Workshop.
👉 Want to speak with confidence and clarity? Check out our Communication Skills Training.
Both are fun, practical, and designed to help you grow fast.
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
Discover how your storytelling skills score and uncover useful insights to help you become a charismatic storyteller:
