October 28, 2025
When someone criticizes you in public, you’ve got three options to choose from.
Option one: Freeze. You panic, go silent, and everyone’s still staring at you.
Option two: Fight. You argue, defend, and sometimes even say things you might regret.
Option three: That’s what the best speakers choose. It’s called AAA. Once you know how it works, you’ll never panic in public again.
Back then, I was in a big conference room at a sales training in Germany. It was an incredible training — super practical, great energy. But then, right at the end during the Q&A, one of the guys raised his hand and said:
“Well, honestly, this was a complete waste of my time. I just didn’t learn anything.”
Immediately, the whole room went quiet. Everyone thought, Whoa, how’s the trainer going to react now?
But he didn’t freeze. He didn’t fight. He just smiled and said:
“Huh, sorry to hear that. Thanks for saying it out loud. I’m curious — what were you hoping to learn? That will help me improve a little bit more.”
Boom. Just by saying that, the tension melted away so much that the critic even took back some of his criticism afterward.
That’s how you handle such a situation.
So, how did he do that?
He used a simple three-step formula called AAA: Appreciate, Ask, and Acknowledge.
Let’s break it down.
This one can be hard sometimes, but it works magic. Thank the person for their honesty.
You can say:
And actually mean it.
I know it’s sometimes painful because we’re thinking, Oh, you… But here’s the mindset: moments like this are opportunities to grow.
If everything always went perfectly, you’d stay at the same level. But those tough moments — those are your chances to become a pro.
Even if it stings in the moment, take a breath and say, “Thank you.” That small moment of humility can shift the whole room.
This is the most important step. Ask what they actually meant with their question or criticism.
You can say things like:
That by itself is powerful because most of the time, people just want to feel heard. When you ask that question, you’re not reacting — you’re connecting.
Sometimes the critic even realizes they’re not sure what they actually wanted, and that’s okay.
Plus, it gives you time to breathe and think about your answer.
Once they answer or clarify, repeat back what you heard — but in your own words.
If they say, “I was hoping for more hands-on practice,” you can respond:
“Got it — so you wanted some more practical exercises.”
You’re not agreeing, justifying, or defending. You’re simply showing that you listened.
That makes people relax, lowers their guard, and often ends the conflict right there.
Those are the three A’s that the trainer in that sales conference used — and that I use in every single training I give.
If you just focus on those three, it will diffuse most criticism.
But if it’s an actual question, you still want to give a good answer. So how do you come up with a clear response on the spot, under pressure?
For that, check out the next video, where I show you how to give a clear, structured response even when you’re under pressure.
Enjoy.
P.S. Want to become a stronger communicator?
Here are two ways I can support you:
👉 Want to tell more engaging stories? Join our next Storytelling Workshop.
👉 Want to speak with confidence and clarity? Check out our Communication Skills Training.
Both are fun, practical, and designed to help you grow fast.
Are you ready to transform your storytelling skills?
Discover how your storytelling skills score and uncover useful insights to help you become a charismatic storyteller:
